Playing Pretend

I know it is just good nature to ask ' How are you?'

But do people really want to know the answer? Or do they expect you to just say fine, thank you.
There are days when I feel like shit and I just cringe and say fine, thank you. I really don't want to launch into an assault and ask 'do you really want to know?'

Because I might just start blabbering about how un-fine I am and you may never want to ask again 'How are you'

It's tiring to pretend I'm fine. I prefer to just smile, people usually prefer seeing a sunny day and a bright, cheery person.

The other day a priest was talking about 'feelings' and 'experiences'. Feelings come and go whereas experiences stay on in your memory. It's good teaching and quite practical when you think about it. My feelings are on a yo-yo most days. One shot of euphoria when things go well and the next moment feeling really low. At least now I try to remember my experiences, the good experiences I had, and to believe if I can live out the bad ones, there are more good experiences waiting for me.